Are You Failing to Reach Goals You Set? You May Need To Do This!

Setting goals is easy, but what’s not easy is achieving them—especially if you’ve challenged yourself to set a goal that pushes you to your full potential.

And if you have set a goal that pushes you, but you’ve failed to reach it, let me assure you that it most likely has nothing to do with your skill, ability, desire, or work ethic.

You can be skilled, sharp and at the top of your game; you can be firing on all cylinders and have it all 👏🏽 the 👏🏽 way 👏🏽 together 👏🏽 in every in many areas of life and still a goal you’ve set for yourself can go unachieved.

So, if you’re scratching your head and wondering why 🤷🏽‍♀️ you haven’t marked a check beside a specific goal you set—whether it’s a professional, personal, social, or spiritual goal, the answer is likely not going to show up in a lack of your ability.

The answer to this dilemma is more likely in the story you are telling yourself.

We all tell ourselves one of two stories when it comes to achieving set goals. We tell ourselves a story of belief or a story of self-doubt. But it’s the story of doubt that often leaves our goals on a shelf collecting dust. This story is scripted in chapter and verse on why you can’t do the thing you set your mind to do.

So, if you’ve set goals and you’ve failed to reach them, the story you are most likely telling yourself reads a bit like this:

→ Chapter 1 “Just Quit, It Ain’t Never Gonna Happen”

  • This the chapter in the story where you convince yourself to quit prematurely. You let discouragement stop you cold in your tracks and allow pessimism to take full control—forcing you to quit way too soon.

→ Chapter 2 “My Success Doesn’t Look Like ‘Their’ Success”

  • In this chapter, you play the comparison game. You look at others and convince yourself that you don’t measure up. You often compare your beginning with someone else’s successful ending and think to yourself, “I don’t have what it takes.”

→ Chapter 3 “I Failed and Stopped Trying”

  • In this chapter of the story, you fail to see failure as the true gift it is. Failure becomes an end instead of a creative opportunity to begin again with more knowledge.

→ Chapter 4 “I Lack Confidence.”

  • This is the chapter in the story where our belief in own ability to succeed gets shot down with friendly fire. A lack of confidence will strip you of your ability to believe. This internal grenade is more explosive and self-defeating than any external force could ever be. Without confidence, you will never move to action, which is what achieving a goal requires.

→ Chapter 5 “I Can Do It Alone”

  • In this chapter, you fool yourself into believing that you can achieve big goals all alone. You forget that no one achieves in a vacuum. Only a superhero can save the world alone. You convince yourself that you don’t need assistance, snap on your cape and fly straight to failure.

If the story you’ve been telling yourself reads anything like these chapters, there is good news for you!

Your story is re-writable!

You can rewrite all of these chapters and continue on the path of goal achieving!

Like Dr. Maya Angelou says, “when you know better, do better.”

And to help you do better, I have some titles you can use to swap out the old chapters and create a brand new story.

Chapter 1 is no longer “Just Quit, It Ain’t Never Gonna Happen.” It’s now, “Ain’t No Stopping Me Now.” If you refuse to quit, you get one step closer to your goal. Be determined to do whatever it takes to keep pressing forward. The race is not given to the swift, but to those who endure!

Chapter 2 is no longer “My Success Doesn’t Look Like Their Success.” It’s now, “I Did It My Way.” You weren’t created to be some knock-off image of someone else. You were created to be a designer’s original. Stop looking to model and imitate and measuring your success by others.

Chapter 3 is no longer “I Failed and I Stopped Trying.” It’s now, “A Winner Don’t Quit on Themselves.” Failing is not fatal. I know you’ve heard it before, but hearing and knowing something intellectually, doesn’t mean we live by it. To truly win and achieve in life you have to have a Teflon ability to get up, dust yourself off and try some more! You are worth trying once more!

Chapter 4 is no longer “I Lack Confidence.” It’s now “I Got This.” Believe you can do all things and know that you are fearfully and wonderfully made. You have what it takes to achieve the goals placed in your heart. Believe and trust the genius in you! It’s there!

Chapter 5 is no longer, “I Can Do It Alone.” It’s now, “My Village Came Through.” Call on your network to help you—this might mean creating a network! You don’t have to waste time reinventing the wheel! Someone in your circle has the thing you need and they are waiting to help you leap forward!

Rewrite the story you are telling yourself, set big goals, and achieve them.

You can do it!

All things are possible for those who believe!

Dr. Vanetta R. Rather

Confidence Coach

Chief Encourager

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