Give Yourself Permission To Be Selfish

One piece of advice I share with all the women I coach and mentor is, “Give Yourself Permission to Be Selfish.”

Yup, I said it and I won’t take it back!

I tell women, especially young adult women, this because what I refuse to do is help to disempower another generation of women by teaching them to put themselves at the bottom of their own priority list!

We are not doing that in 2019!

I simply refuse to contribute to this dysfunctional narrative!

I tell women to do what I wish I had done for myself early on in life—to prioritize self at the top of your list…..aka…. #BeSelfish

Now I know the word selfish may make you cringe a little! No one feels the guilt of putting themselves first like women!

Women have this tendency to put self last!

Because we are natural nurturers women have been conditioned to believe that we have to put everyone’s needs in front of our own......and to settle for what’s left over!

But what I’ve learned to do, what I’m teaching other women to do, and what I hope you do, especially if you want to live a satisfying and fulfilling life, is to stop settling........and to say NO (or HN) to left overs.

Listen, we can’t dine on the left overs in life and expect to live full, nor can we maintain healthy lives by surviving on crumbs.

And this is what happens when we put others before ourselves.

Now trust me, I get it!

See I know that you’ve been hearing all your life that putting others first is the noble and godly thing to do, but it actually goes against what God commands of us.

The greatest commandment is to love God and your neighbor AS you love self…… not before, not more than, and certainly not in place of self!

Self Love is a Commandment! :-) #YASSS

And when we don't do this--when women don’t prioritize ourselves in our own lives, it significantly diminishes our chances of living lives that we were created to live.

And yes there are times when as a mother, or a business owner, or a leader in some field or another that all of our time, energy, and focus will be devoted elsewhere.

But this should not be the norm!

We should not create lives where we have prioritized ourselves at the bottom because no one benefits—not our loved ones, not our business, and certainly not us!

See the absolute best thing we can do for those we love and the careers and businesses we love is to be as healthy and as whole as possible. And we are never as healthy and as whole as when we are intentionally prioritizing ourselves first in our own lives.

The airlines are correct. When we put our masks on first on first--take care of self first, we are in better position to help others.

Listen, no matter how much faith traditions, culture and family tries to convince women to believe that we have to sacrifice ourselves for others, we don’t!

The world has a sufficient sacrifice! The blood was shed, the Lamb was slain and all is well in the sacrificial arena!

So, come on down off the altar, Sis!

Go get you a mani and a pedi! Take yourself out for some me-time, do some retail therapy or whatever it is you do to relax and take care of you!

And don’t you dare apologize or feel guilty about it!

What I really want to stress to women is that a full and satisfying life begins with how we care for ourselves.

We are responsible for our happiness, our health and our overall well-being.

And we can’t be well “beings” if we don’t prioritize ourselves at the top of our own priority list.

Listen, do me a favor……no do yourself and give yourself permission to be selfish……Give yourself permission to put yourself first!

It’s literally one of the best things you can do for yourself!

By for now, Sis!

Have a great self-loving day!

Vanetta

PS...... if you like this blog, you will love the book I wrote called "Defiant Women of Faith! It's a 52-Week Devotional that will inspire you to live authentically and unapologetically--just as God created you!

Click Here to get the book!

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